Script to Screen 2017 || Story Cleanup and Finalising

I am currently considering changing a few elements of my story in order to make it better, in heed of Phil's advice. A good story can fit into the span of 2 minutes to prove itself as a concept. As a response to that thought I have looked at some more things in depth to see if they can be improved, namely, the problems with inclusion of the cement mixer prop. You can see these musings in the mind map up above this text, but believe I'm in the right track of mind when I think of how I want to conduct this story in particular.

So basically, before the revamp, the story was a tad too complex to fit into two minutes,and in order to fix that I needed to trim the fat a lot. The character designs are already there so they could stay for as long as I needed them (after all, even if they end up unused they can go somewhere else). I needed an extra character for the sake of the audience, thus the little girl in the concept art posted, also fulfilling my desire for a female character in the plot of the story. And there were also a lot of extra stuff that was only there to fill in parts of the story. Things like population can wait till after the story is finalized.

A little rich girl falls down a hole to find Hell,and must climb free before the entrance is sealed.

The main ideas with this plot is the idea of conflict, and as far as I can tell, little rich white girls are not really suited to being mountaineers. The Hell environment takes on a more 'Alice in Wonderland' nature than just being a legendary underground kingdom or whatever. The cement mixer plays a more direct role relating to its utility by builders, and potentially holds a pivotal role in the story. I think this is a good base for the story because I know what the individual keywords are supposed to do in the story.